Marriage Is Not An Option. Yet.

There is no other word to call it.

I am his other woman.

Neither am I his first nor is he mine. Yet, we have chosen to play the role for quite some time now.

I am not proud of what I am. Nor do I suppose that he is of what we’re doing. But this was something that we knew just had to happen. The feelings that have developed between us — it was a nice surprise and a tragedy at the same time. I cannot label what we have as “love” but rather something akin to it. I cannot assume that he is inlove with me for I suppose, if he faced up to the fact that he did, there would be expectations that neither of us can fulfill.

I don’t want him to leave his wife nor did he make me believe that he would. To do so would make me feel like I was making an even bigger transgression against God, as if having an affair with him already wasn’t enough.

For now, we are together. I have to be content with the scraps he was willing to give my way – the kisses in between classes, the secret rendezvous at the third floor of my building, the daily text messaging whenever his wife wasn’t around, the short vacations together.

For now, that was enough.