Marriage Is Not An Option. Yet.

We belonged in the same circle of friends.

Airsoft was one of my classmates from medical school. He was quiet, somewhat reserved and was born from a wealthy family. He was the Rich Kid among our set of friends. While he drove around in a nice car all throughout medical school, he got himself a brand-new luxury vehicle after graduation. As such, he was frequently the designated driver whenever my classmates and I would go out for our off-campus activities. Since he and I lived one barangay apart, I was frequently the last one he would drop off before heading home.

We were both single and casually dating. Because my friends in committed relationships were always in the process of setting up their single friends, they would tease that Airsoft and I should start dating each other. We both just went along with it, flirting with each other infront of our classmates, pretending that there was something going on when there really wasn’t. We were friends and we enjoyed making our friends laugh so, it wasn’t hard to play along with the charade.

I would always be asked to sit in the frontseat with him, while the rest of my friends sat at the back. The teasing continued until one day, on our way to a dinner that Airsoft was treating all of us to, one of our friends decided to make things a little more interesting.

“So, have you two even kissed yet?” HotMama asked, looking curiously at us with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

We all laughed. “HotMama!” I exclaimed, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“I mean, Airsoft is always taking you home and you’re always the last one to step out of his car. I’m sure the opportunity has been there countless of times.”

I caressed Airsoft’s arm seductively. “Maybe later.”

And then Airsoft laughed.

“[Mistress], did you really have to touch him like that when you said that?” Darna exclaimed.

“Of course,” I said, and then I laughed.

HotMama giggled. “I’m going to ask Airsoft tomorrow if you actually kissed him, [mistress]. I’m sooo looking forward to it.”

“Me too,” Airsoft chimed in, eliciting another round of laughter from us.

When we finally got to the restaurant, we stepped out of the car one by one. As I opened the door and was about to step out as well, he stopped me.

“Wait. You just stay there. We’re supposed to make out first.”

I laughed. “Airsoft!”

And then he laughed.

It was a nice dinner and before we knew it, it was time to go. As we dropped off the rest of our friends to their respective homes one by one, we were frequently reminded about the impending goodnight kiss that they were supposed to hear about the next day. When it was finally just the two of us in the car, we talked about our studies, our classmates and common friends, his weekly Airsoft games. Simple harmless stuff that had no hint of flirtation.

It was boring but it killed time.

A few meters away from our house, I got a phonecall from my mother. I was just about to end the call when we finally arrived at my house. As I thanked him and was about to step out of the car, he stopped me.

“Hey, how about my kiss?”

I was surprised. We were no longer acting infront of a crowd. I wasn’t sure if he was just trying to make me laugh or he was actually serious about it.

So, I took the safe road and laughed. “Maybe next time. Promise.”

He laughed along with me and then, drove off, leaving me standing infront of our gate, confused and amazed by what had just happened. Did Airsoft just flirt with me without any of our friends present? Was he no longer pretending that he was just acting that he was interested? Was he actually interested in me?

Jesus Christ, did he actually want to kiss me?

I couldn’t look him in the eye the next day.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like Airsoft. He was the typical Mr. Nice Guy and any ordinary girl would be lucky to be his girlfriend. It’s just that if you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, it’s kind of difficult to start seeing them in a different light or to start taking them seriously. As friends, you do occasionally flirt with them, knowing full well in your mind that you’re just trying to make the rest of your friends laugh. Plus, I’ve long decided that my male friends were off-limits. They’ve seen too much of my true personality for me to actually still have the face to impress them with. They’ve seen me pass out from too much drinking, they’ve seen me bloat to almost twice my weight during one particularly bad relationship, they’ve seen me go from one depression drama to another, they’ve witnessed the succession of guys that had taken up my time and wasted my emotions. They’ve seen me in my most vulnerable and they know me for who I really am, without all the pretentions that I cloak myself in infront of someone I’m actually interested in.

So, it didn’t really cross my mind that Airsoft could actually be interested in me.

In my mind, these things just don’t happen.

Or maybe it did, but I just was afraid to.

- So, if maybe I was brave enough, Airsoft and I would have looked something like this -