A Letter to my Unborn Daughter
The fact that you will arrive into my life someday is something that I both dread and look forward to. Dread because I know I will not always be the perfect mother to you. We will fight – Oh, there will be fights, I’m sure of that – all the time and there are times when you will hate me, just as much as I too hated my own mother at times. But know in your heart that I love you and I will always have only the best of intentions for you. I also look forward to seeing you because I know you will complete me, in a way that no man, not even your father or any of the great loves in my life, will ever complete me. No matter what you chose to be, you will remain the living proof that keeping you instead of taking drugs or flushing you down the toilet was the best decision that I could have made in my entire life.
Even if I know things may not be so quite peachy between us all the time, even if I frustrate you and disappoint you frequently, know that I will always be here for you. I will not only be your mother who provides you with clothes, allowance and signs your report cards, I will also be your friend whose shoulders you can cry on after some boy you’ve been crushing on tells you he doesn’t like you, who will not bug you constantly and just leave you alone when you are going through your angst-ridden teenage rebellious years, who will not say a word when you come out of your room wearing a skirt that’s too shirt or a shirt that looks too trashy, who will not complain when different guys seem to be dropping you off at home, who will buy you a chick book and open up a bottle of beer for you after you have announced that your boyfriend has just dumped you.
You will however be prepared to explain yourself to us if your grades seem to be slipping, if I ever catch you asking me for P1000 for a book that only costs P500 or if you ever get accidentally pregnant. Do not ever sass me and tell me that times are different. Wherever you think you want to go to, always remember that I have been there and back for many many times than I would care to remember.
Study well but always remember that it’s only grades. Learn to balance your studies, your family, your loves and your friends. There is more to life than the four walls of your classroom.
No matter how much money I and your father seem to be making, do not take the value of money lightly. I was not born from a rich family so I was brought up knowing the true value of every nickel and dime spent. Please understand if I do not want you to be spoiled by letting you live too luxuriously. Whether or not you will be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you will learn to budget your allowance because I will not give you your own credit card.
Do not be angry if your father and I are always encouraging you to take up Karate, Dance, Guitar, Photography or Art classes. It does not mean that we want to live our own dreams vicariously through you. We only want to stimulate your brain to a variety of interests and hopefully expose you to a plethora of choices that may help you find your own niche.
Enjoy your youth. Do not be afraid to make mistakes while you are young. Do not fear love or getting hurt, for it is only through experience that we grow and mature into the person that we are. Be open-minded. Experience all the good as well as the bad. The drinking, the smoking, sex, etcetera. But do not let yourself be sucked in by the bad. Know how to discern and to walk away from something you feel is not right.
There will be boys who will come in and out of your life. After one man dumps you, there will always be someone else who will come after him. Do not despair that you will end up a spinster whenever someone dumps you or breaks your heart. Give your love to many but give your heart to only one. Learn to be picky, to be patient and to choose the one you should give your heart to, because my daughter, you deserve only the best. Never ever settle for the second best.
Sex is not bad. It is normal and it can be really good. But do not let anybody pressure you to engage in it unless you truly believe that you are emotionally and physically ready, until you find that special someone who will make your heart melt whenever he holds your hand. Hold on to that virginity until you see your partner as someone you are willing to be tied to just incase something goes wrong (i.e. you get pregnant). Do not engage in meaningless casual sex unless this person is someone who will actually make you cry when he leaves. And when you do start having sex, never tell me, unless you are old enough to finish school and have already started working.
Follow your dreams, my dear daughter. Never let anyone, not even me, stop you from running after what you want. We can only provide you with education and emotional support. Everything else is up to you.
Never forget your friends and your family. A man can only love you for as long as he feels something for you but your friends and your family will always love you unconditionally.
Laugh a lot. Do not take life too seriously.
Love a lot. In the end, it will be worth it.
I love you, my dear unborn daughter. I would like to believe that someday you would realize that despite all our fights and incompatibilities, despite the yelling, the door slamming and the cold shoulders, it was never easy to raise you but I did my very best to be the best mother that I could be to you.
It was the most that I could do after seeing how you proved that I did not live all my years for nothing.
— I’m not pregnant. Just listening to some serius uterus weeping. It’s those darn eggs…
